Mother’s Day for a solo parent with small kids isn’t usually that different to other days. This year though my two clicked on to it. “Happy Daddy’s Day” they reckon, getting cheeky as mocking me all morning 😂. Lexi even reckons “Happy Gardner Daddy’s Day” 😂. To all the Mamas out there, Happy MOTHERS Day. Enjoy your children and treasure the time. Shout out to the solo dads, have a mad day and let your kids mock you too and call you Mum 😂...and if you are a solo feeling sorry for yourself, gtfo of bed and stop sulking (this was usually me on this day 🤦🏽♀️😂). Life’s what you make it.
I recently took a trip to Oz for some personal development and while I was there I won a dinner with the people that ran the seminar I was at.
As soon as we were told of the competition I said to myself “I NEED THIS”. I didn’t know why, but I just knew that I had made the choice to have that dinner, and that it would be mine. It was.
During the dinner we were having small talk, talking about food, favourite colours, kids etc. Then the conversation took a major shift, I was asked “When’s the first time you felt loved?”. I was definitely taken aback by this question, it’s not something you ever expect someone to ask you. I struggled for a few seconds thinking to being a child and the love my parents had for me but there was no major moment that stood out, even though I knew it was always there I was used to it so nothing about it stood out.
Then BAM it came to me. “I know, but I can’t talk about it because I will cry” I said nervously looking around Jamie Oliver’s packed out restaurant that we were in. “That’s OK” I was reassured. Without a second guess I leaped into a story around me and my daughter Lexi.
Lexi was unplanned, I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was 7 months along, she was born breech 2 weeks early on my bedroom floor with no midwife or doctor just me and her father. I didn’t want her, and I very quickly plunged into deeper depression. I didn’t want to be here myself let alone have her. I wouldn’t breastfeed her, I wouldn’t hold her, it was so bad I could even smell this horrible smell of rotting flesh on her that I still cannot explain. I would look after her but I never put in the time to love her. The normal night time ritual was for me to make a bottle, prop her up to give it to herself, then put her straight into her cot.
In the corner of her nursery there was a feeding chair, I had never used it and it had nearly a whole year. One night, in the peak of my depression, I decided to use it. I felt out of place but I sat down with her in my arms and gave her the bottle. I wasn’t looking at her, instead I was day dreaming about how helpless I felt, asking the world for a break.
Continued in comments....
Came here for lunch in the weekend with a friend and we had to have a *eyeroll* at a lady that was talking down to the barista...little did she know that the Maori boy making her coffee is the owner of one of the best cafes in the area.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. 🙄😂💖
We have all used them before. “I can’t speak my mind because I might be judged” “I don’t want to ask for what I want because I might be rejected” “I can’t trust others because I have been betrayed before” “I don’t want to get close to someone because my heart might get broken” “I can’t follow my dreams because I might fail”. We have this crazy belief that once our emotions get hurt or we face a set back - that it will end us and it’s just not true.
The main way we build these beliefs are from direct experiences in our lives. Our brains are automatically programmed to build beliefs faster from situations that we find harmful, it’s natures way of keeping us safe but unfortunately it also limits us. We need to reprogram ourselves to be able to identify and build belief around the good experiences we have too.
Next time you have a limiting belief, write it down. Then trace it back to a time in your life where that belief was first created by you. Now from that experience find a positive learning or lesson that you gained and how that makes you feel. Write this next to the limiting belief and then ask yourself, “Is it really that bad to just take the risk?”.
Reif chose these slippers. He said he liked the colours, so of course I let him get them.
Tonight we had to go to the supermarket and he asked to wear them, “Yeah babe, go hard” I said. “People won’t think I’m a girl ae, Mum?” he said. “Nah, no way” I replied. “I wish girls could wear boys clothes and boys could wear girls clothes and it wouldn’t matter” he said. “But it doesn’t really matter, Son” I said.
Off we went to the supermarket, psychedelic slippers and all. As Reif was walking through the shop I was watching the reactions of others, every single person that noticed them smiled and a few people even praises and complimented him. Both men and women. It really made me click that although he’s such a little guy and made what seems like a fairly simple decision to wear the slippers, this small act was subconsciously teaching people valuable lessons.
We never know how powerful our actions that come from our authentic selves have on others. Pretty cool.
What else would you do whilst waiting for the gremlins to wake up...take a selfie of course. Need that photographic proof of that moment when the kids aren’t screaming, time isn’t a worry, you have no where to be and that lighting is on fleek 👌🏼
The more I have grown and the further I get into my own transformation, the more I am beginning to handle the power behind my story. And the more I share and open up the more the universe delivers to me. I have learnt that everything in this world happens in duality. This means that within every pain there is a gain, within every win there is a setback, and the more I learn to listen to the lessons and be grateful for them the more I can see myself reaching new levels. It’s not hippy dippy, away with the fairies, out the gate bullshit. Its real, next level, attraction of the purest kind.
With that I have decided to make an actual facebook page. I am keeping it simple and calling it “Tee Gardner” so jump across and give me a “Like”.
Been MIA on social media in the last week apart from organising the climb up the mountain. I still haven’t managed to catch up on replying to messages but I am getting there.
And I haven’t even been taking pics to do a post or had the time to think of what I feel like talking about and sharing, but this popped into my mind and I managed to find a couple of pics from the last month.
I would seriously never have ever, ever, ever posted a pic like this last year. It would have been dog ears, flower crown, butterfly head, face slimming, filtered up to the 9’s with another young instagram filter for the win 😂. But this is it, 💯% bare face vs my usual everyday makeup. Now I don’t wear makeup to hide who I am, I do it because it makes me feel good and it’s a form of art and expression. I wear it for myself no-one else. Some days I will go to the supermarket in trackies and a hoody with nothing on my face, other days I will pump my gas with a crease cut eye and MAC on my lips. Confidence is everything, but makeup can’t hurt. Remember that ladies 💄
Conquered Mt Putauaki again today with a group of people 💖🙌🏼✨
Incredible effort from everyone. When we got to the top there was thick cloud so all you could see was white, one of the most craziest things I have ever seen lol! Vertigo full on but at the same time amazing.
I also fully smashed my heights fear to the next level and stood not sat on the highest point. 820 meters up ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Swipe left to see me chicken shitting myself to my goal 😂
So pumped for this online event! ✨
Monday // 9pm NZST
For the past few months I have been on an incredible journey of self discovery, and earning an income at the same time.
Come along and watch how myself and many others are turning a side hustle into financial freedom! ⠀⠀
PM me for details on how to join the call. ⠀⠀
And psssssss guess what? It’s not just for us ladies we also have an opportunity for the fellas too 😱